Throwing away my Confucian Robes

Yes thats right, after all the ethics and much learning of theories and rituals, im going to throw it all away. Just as the great hero of taiwan, zheng chengong, threw away his student robes to be a army general (completely different schools in those days), I shall do the same.

Why? I have to admit, being the only practicing confucian, without being able to influence anyone is just plain failure, on my part. No body respects anybody, whats the point of respecting those who do not respect you. And whats the point of respecting parents and others, when they fail to grasp the true nature and true meanings? Simply, everyone else doesnt want to be educated, whats the point of placing a drop of detergent in a POOL of water. That simply wont change anything, that simply wouldnt eradicate the bacteria in the whole POOL of water.

So in the end ... there is simply no point. Im doing away with confucianism for good.

Thanks to Mr Wang, I got a full set of brand new strings. Now what im left to do is to repair and shine up the varnish, Buy a new bow, Buy a new casing and thats about it. Hmmm and dont forget the rosin, im left with dust covered rosin now.

This is rather, Strange....

I .... know ....





Darwin's Social Setup and the Art of Exploitation.



Ooops!

Amazingly, I keep having dreams when I take short short naps (about 20mins or less).

One of them, is rather strange. Again my dream this time was in foreign languages! This time the starting of my dream was in japanese, this girl came was walking in this place, Looks like a familiar place, cross between harbin and some swizterland street. Anyway, this girl, whom I find NO familiarity at all in my memory, spoke to me in japanese saying Konichiwa! I replied, anata no namae wa nan desuka? Afterthat, the whole conversation was dominated by heavy japanese phrases inwhich I could not comprehend much. The next moment after I said, watashi wa wakarimasen, sumimasen! I was carrying this girl on my BACK!

Strangely, we were walking towards this place, with three house situated at the back of a japanese market, this time the girl spoke in english that the orange house is her house. In the market I saw people selling the usual fish and squid and stuff, and curiously, a kind of bird that is rather small and VERY colourful. They flow in a zig zag pattern, more and more of them are released into the air and soon they flooded the place.

Anyway, I couldnt remember much but next, I was at this open market in some deserted place, something like Lock Road in singapore. There were stalls and all that, in the fashion of Old china town. Here comes the creepy part... I bought something (couldnt remember what it was) and next I knew everyone was squatting on the floor and the stalls disappeared! And all these people were speaking in taiwanese and mandarin, telling each other ghost stories. I woke up soon after that.

This is not the first time my dreams were so vivid and strange, as well in japanese... I do get arabic dreams sometimes but its all about crusades and stuff in the old world. Latin dreams are common too, but those dreams are not as much as arabic and japanese language dreams. I wonder is it because I subconciously pick up the capacity to learn the language.

Our unique society

I know of so many people asking why free speech is not allowed in singapore. In MY opinion, this is tied to the way Singapore has been runned and our culture. Simple, its all in confucian ethics.

Well for singapore, as I had mentioned over and over again, follow closest to the confucian method of governing a country. This gives us the advantage over many types of systems of government. One drawback our government is that in the eyes of westerners, we are seen as like a authoritative country state. Also we are known as nanny state ... but that is something else in which is not involved in the point im going to make here.
In the confucian method, we must sacrifice our personal freedoms for the sake of our country. This is very true, isnt that what we have been doing for the past 40 over years!? Look at us, we sprang up from kampong developing styled country to world class
first grade developed country. We must never forsake our "asian values"(another name of confucian values, used in Singapore) for the western values, no matter how authortative we might look. In our society, we cannot like the western govenrments, have two 2 main parties (like USA, democrats and republicans). And also we cannot have the same ammount of freedoms like the west, our society would not function as it is right now... afterall its all about balance. No matter what, we should always strive to do our best, put faith in our leaders, educate the young on the right moral values and keep the society from harm. Although no matter how much the rebellion attitude is boiling inside, we must know, that after all, if it was not for these values and protocol, we would never become the Singapore we are now - Streets safe from guns, nearly crime free, and riot free.

God becoming man, that is the end.

Yes, and when man becomes God, its the same effect to that phrase above. If you cannot prove it, there is no reason you could believe in it. Will society function without hope? No is the answer. Without yearning and learning and hoping for the future, society would had never existed and humans wiped out from the face of the earth. We should preserve our best strains of human genetics and traits and create a perfect type of uncorrupted human species, free from criminal thoughts, free from radical views and all having the same goal of harmony without greed and the benefit of society as the final goal in every of these humans. Will humans be still considered humans after that?

-No. Obviously we are human because we make mistakes and commit wrongs, no human can be perfect, but we could be better everytime at defeat. Yes, it is because of survival that most humans always want to reach the top of the ladder (social, economical/job). I like to be alone and away from people whom I consider as "rewinding"/"downgrading" our human genetics. In view of what I feel, I still feel we should only keep the good "seeds" and purge the rest of the bad "seeds" who reap destruction, riots, and criminal harm to the minority of the populace. The rest of us, should not live in fear of being robbed/mugged/murdered by humans of our species... No matter what, still, we are indeed a small part of the whole universe.

Bipolar Affective Disorder

Someone I know of has somesort of Bipolar Affective Disorder. Now im convinced, that it
exists. Bipolar Affective Disorder is something like splits between highs and lows of mood. Bipolar Affective Disorder is also known as Maniac Depression.

Maniac Depression does not mean a serious depressed person but rather a person who experiences bouts of Highs and Lows of great extremes. Mania = the high part which means happiness and euphoria and sorts. Depression = self explainatory. Yes yes, everyone has highs and lows but these occur with people with Bipolar Affective Disorder(BPAD) in higher frequencies and in a much higher degree. Follow the Link to know more about this disorder.

Still, im still launching a psychological attack against everyone. Still there is no ethics in war, its a still war of ethics. How to psychologically defeat a person without attacking the person physically, how to deal physical damage using psychology and paraphysical methods, how do you apply psychology into warfare. Humans, this master of nature, this divine craft and who God made an image of himself. Maybe after all, should man become God? I hope in biotech, I get to clone God and see what he/she /it is like.

Link

Everyone is equal and the same.

The following statement might sound very egoistical, but I assure you all, this is indeed what is going round here. Yes that is right, there is no one at my level as of now and forever. This is because no one uses the old methods of thinking anymore and no one uses the old ways. It is true I had never trusted anyone in my entire life, and my life is entirely built on shield after shield, mask after mask and shroud after shroud. It is true that you my friends, are not permitted to get into my inner feelings and thoughts because I have already built myself apon this system of words and methods in which it is not comprehensible to any other human being. And also It is true that even my to all my closest friends, I have no trust whatsoever in them ... yes, I see people as people, animals as animals, plants as plants and so forth. The animal kingdom and the kingdom of plants can never mix and so should humans never devolve themselves into the state of animals.

Who knows, what is the true being behind this screen. The being might be a monster, with murderous plots to destroy anyone and everyone. The being might also be a person who has mild autism or some mental problems perhaps? See, my friends, you cannot fathom how deep is the ocean without being the ocean yourself. You cannot realise how infinite the universe is unless you are the universe yourself, your life is built on the rock of assumption, the assumption that everything is ... is.

Among those people who I deem the highest order of admiration is Confucius, Einstien, Charles Darwin, and Beethovan. One thing, NONE of them are prodigies, which means they have no special skills when they were young, all of them have no special talents when young and aquired their skills through hard work. Their hardwork, smart work is something I admire very much.

Vow of Celibacy

Yes thats Celibacy, not celery, or calamari, or even cabbagery. And, Im going to take that vow for 6 years. This means the period of NOW, till the end of my poly days, till start of national service, and the end of national service.

Celibacy is NOT abstinence, im just not finding a partner or finding a mate to be with me. This means NO dating and NO sex (with other people). So with that said, Im going to kneel down before the image of Saint Thomas Aquinas, and pledge myself from this very day, 7th May 2005 to 7th may 2011.(close to the end of days...) This is not meaning that, I will totally scrap away sexuality(which is rather harmful), I will just keep to being single which I very very much like and enjoy. This asexual stance, which I will adhere to hopefully will give me time to concentrate on studies and my other skills.

Seems like the potion worked, im cured this morning with no pain in my throat anymore... feeling completely healthy and filled with energy again. Trying to do something to tune up my piano skills. Trying to do something with my visualisation techniques. Bridge the gaps in my brain.

Today, I walked from queenstown MRT back to my home, I was actually testing something, which once I finish testing it, I will publish the results. Its strange because a girl also walked with me for half of the route (from MRT to Anchorage). I walked more than twice the distance I would walk... maybe next time when im free I might want to try walking from here(my home) to somewhere further away.

Im feeling sick now again with sore throat, viral infection most likely. I wonder is it because of summoning the white dragon of the sky, sucking out my yang energy. Im always low on energy its hard to take in enough to last you the week. *looks at the quartz crystal*

Stealing power from the sun? Alchemical potion of energy? Water of the moon, exorcised salt, exorcised water, crystal of the sun, crystal of the moon(balancer). Equipment, dish, and astrological chart, astrological mat/writ, wand of the rite/dagger of the rite.(exorcised then charged with summon)

Depending on the type and nature of the astrological chart, choose the date and choose the time. Invoke ALL spirits of the hour and right spirits pertaining to the nature of the water because of the crystals involved. Balancers should not be used in excess, amplifiers can only be used pretaining to final usage. Avoid all other activities that may introduce unwanted energies into the final result

Today is a day for celebration because my MOTHER IS BACK FROM EGYPT. Oh the wonderous ancient egyptains, the magnificent sculptures and monuments. And of course with every trip there are gifts and presents!

Let us take a look at what we have in our gift bag.

Copper vase, 6 copper plates, 2 wooden boxes, a bunch of trinkets and necklaces with my
very own personalized cartouch(complete with egyptain wordings), a very nice glass incense burner, lots and lots of perfumes and glass perfume bottles, Silver pendants and one stainless steel pyramid.

I must say the quality of worksmanship is rather poor there but however, this is because all of them are handmade. Yes, no two of them are alike. Now signing off the enjoy the smells and stones of egypt. the place I will return someday.

I have got to say something to a certain person without mentioning any names.

To this shameless creature,
Even though you are part of my immediate relations, I look down and am disgusted with your attitude. I cannot believe you foul gangster will exist in this walls! We have been educating you these 15 years of your life and you repay us with nothing but bad morals, bad attitude and no respect for
your elders. We provided you with the best environment and the best anychild could have, but you CHOOSE to look onto stupid modern cultures and follow them. I have lost ALL my faith in you, I try to avoid you but when you cause disturbances in this household, I will not have mercy in lashing out against your filthy attitude and behaviour. I will not tolerate anymore nonsense from you, If you refuse to change your shameful and disgraceful attitude, I must and will throw you out to preserve our harmony that we have, we will not have outsiders and insurgents in our household to wreck havoc and spread chaos causing a huge amount of uneeded dispair and such. I have no idea what has got into you, but I supposed your innate morals and ideas are a bunch of rotting garbage. Your chances are running out, and so is my patience. If
no one is going to do anything(including your correction of behaviour), I will.

---- ends my message.

I cannot see why children nowadays are loosing their respect for elders, and especially at home. This is a total degeneration of morals in our present day society. I know, that there are children out there who learn the right morals and right values inspite of what the outside world put on us (trends and such), but the numbers of children who learn these values are dwindling. The propiety and decorum that almost everyone used to display is now virtually extinct. Why cannot people conduct themselves with the idea of guilt and shame, in that way they will realise what is the right thing to do. If everyone did the same, laws would not be needed to control the people, the people control themselves.

This is the season that I really enjoy, the colours and the wind blowing from the sea into my room! The light play of the sun onto the surface of teh sea is amazing, distant faraway islands frame the horizon. The peace and serenity of the colours of the forest and hill. The gently soft glow of evening sunlight beaming onto my desk and the fragrance of wood and trees, with the chirping of birds and the rustle of dry leaves. Its just all outside my window!

I really want to stay here forever ... Everyday should be like this, Demo .... I still have to do my maths, and I still dont know how to do alegbra.

Wine for tonight is.... Drumroll please!

Yes thats right, Finally my cabernet sauvignon. I can see the difference now between a Shiraz and a Cabernet Sauvignon (CS).

Tonights Menu.

Wine Type: Cabernet Sauvignon
Wine Brand: Black Opal
Vintage: 2001
Origin: Southern-Austrailia (?)

*did not specify the exact vineyard and location.

The CS was not as spicy as the Merlot and Shiraz. CS seems lighter, and definately less tanic.(Much less) Acidity levels, were also less than the others. Compared to a pinot noir, the wine goes down smooth, however, the aftertaste was less "fruity" and
less full flavoured than any of the above. Pairing with meals, this goes well with any red meat, but not poultry or fish.(however duck is fine) Wishlist is to try other wines like Sauvignon Blanc and all the wonderful whites I havent really enjoyed yet (due to the lack of seafood menu.)